Sunday, January 27, 2013

The post I never wanted to write

I've been sitting here staring at the blank page trying to figure out how to start this.  How to say this.  There's no clever or funny way to do it.

I am getting divorced.

Four very difficult and surreal words to write.

I'm not going to go into a lot of detail about the whys right now.  Eventually I will.  It's something that needs to come out of me--needs to be written.  But today isn't that day.

I can tell you this, though.  It was not a decision made lightly.  It was not a decision made quickly.  It was not a decision made easily.  It was not a decision made by me alone.

I know there are some of you out there who think divorce is never OK.  Who probably somewhere in the back of your mind think that we just didn't try hard enough.  That we are cutting and running because things got a little hard.  All I can say to you is that you are wrong.  And I hope you never find yourself in a situation that makes you realize how wrong you are.  Because it's a sad and lonely place to be.

We have been married just short of 16 years.  We have three great kids.  It takes more than things getting a little bit hard to end that.

I want to make it clear that it takes two people to end a marriage.  We both have played a part in this.  But we are not parting as enemies.  In many ways, we have become better friends since making this difficult decision than we have been in the 20 years we've known each other. And that is something really positive coming out of this.

Above all else, we are committed to doing what is best for our kids.  They're the ones bearing the brunt of the unfairness of the situation.  We are doing all we can to make it as easy on them as possible.

As time goes on, I'll be sharing more with you.  Please understand and respect that I can't do that right now.

And thank you.  Thank you for being here.  There are so many of you out there reading this and knowing about my life, and I don't know you.  But I know you're there.  And I can't respond to every e-mail I receive, but know that I personally read each one, and I am always so touched that you took the time to send it and tell me about yourselves.  I'm so lucky to have people read my words.  I just wanted you to know that I don't ever forget that when I hit publish, real people are reading what I have to say, and I thank you for sticking with me.

~Brandi

17 comments:

princess apr said...

I'm sorry to hear the news as the ending of anything is sad. I'm here if you ever need anything!

Rena said...

e-hugs.
My heart breaks for you, but it also hopes for you.
I hope that this decision is the right one. I already feel like you are happier for it.

Adriana said...

I am sorry to hear your news. Tonight we told our 3 year old that Daddy is going to live somewhere else. I wish I could say we are staying friends, but I can not. I am proud of you guys for trying and maitaining a friendship for your kids. I hope for brighter days for all of us.

AZ Larsens said...

I'm so sorry.

just call me jo said...

Hugs and bloggy-friend support.

TheOneTrueSue said...

I'm so sorry Brandi. I understand.

Pam the Realtor said...

Nope, nothing funny about the ending of a marriage. My heart breaks for you, but sometimes it's just the best decision for all involved. Even the kids. Hang in there. Time heals all.

Will said...

Surreal is the right word for it. Can't believe it still.

Funny I appreciate so much more what we had. Thank you.

Round Rock Gal said...

This really sucks for both of you,but if parting as friends then it sounds like the right call. Obviously the only two people who matter in the decision making are you and your soon-to-be-ex. I hope people will respect your decision and keep their mouth shut. (Good luck with that!) Hugs to you both, plus extra hugs for the kids.

Melissa said...

I'm so sorry. What a difficult, but I am sure necessary, decision. You will find your way.

Dusti Connelley said...

Brandi, I'm one of those readers that you don't know.....and i just wanted to tell you that I've been there, I've had to make that decision, and I know how hard it is. I'm sorry....I'm truly sorry. It hurts when the fairy tale is over.

Melanie said...

I'm so sorry. It's a hard decision to make. I hope it all works out for you.

MJ said...

Sending you guys so much love.

SkyMommy said...

I'm so sorry. I will be thinking of you and hoping that the whole process goes as smoothly as possible. *hugs*

Sagewoman said...

Best hope and love and feelings of sadness - but hope above all. Some things have to break for others to grow. Hang in there.

rachfishop said...

Sorry to hear your news, and hope it all works out for you and the family.

TheOneTrueSue said...

I'm so sorry Brandi.

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