Monday, February 27, 2012

Separate Vacations

(Just ignore the fact that the picture is actually a politician and his two daughters. Because 1. I'm slightly creeped out now that I know those are his daughters, and 2. If it wasn't a politician and his daughters, the picture would have been funny.)

So, I mentioned on Facebook that my husband and kids would be in Wyoming for a week next month in case any of our friends in the area wanted to get together with him.

Clearly this was cause for alarm.

In the few days since I posted it, I've had several concerned e-mails asking if my marriage is O.K. Actually, they haven't come out and asked that specifically, but they've all said some variation of, "So, you're not going with Will and the kids next month? Is everything O.K.?"

Yes. Everything is O.K.

Remember THIS? And THIS?

I'll be doing it again next month. It's become my favorite week each year. I need it. I need to be with friends and not be with my family. I come home happier.

The kids are out of school that week, and Will took the week off to be home with them while I'm gone. It turned out to be a good opportunity for Will and the kids to visit his family. I'm not thrilled with how much his little trip going to cost us. It's been a big source of contention this week because there were cheaper alternatives that were refused. (There's a whole post about that that will have to remain unwritten for the sake of keeping the peace.) But to clarify for all those who were concerned enough to write: Our separate vacations might just end up causing marital problems, but we're not taking separate vacations because of marital problems.

We're taking separate vacations because I don't love my family enough to vacation with them.

I hope that sets the record straight.

Ever since this whole separate vacation thing has been decided, though, I've been having mini panic attacks. What if their plane crashes? What if they die in a fiery car crash in the still-icy canyons? What if there's a carbon monoxide leak at the in-laws and they all die in their sleep? I could go all day with these scenarios. The result of them all is the same--I will be left all alone. It makes me want to cancel both vacations and hide under the covers.

I'm a worrier by nature, but this is a little ridiculous even for me.

Oddly, I'm not as worried about me dying while on vacation. I mean, there could be a freak pole dancing accident or a tsunami that wipes out the Outer Banks, or, in true horror story fashion, someone could break into the house full of "helpless" women and hack us all to death while we're having a pillow fight in skimpy pajamas sleeping.

But really the worst that would happen if I died is that the kids end up being the kids with dirty faces and ratty hair at school. Until, of course, he gets re-married (obviously to someone prettier who thinks it's totally fine to spend 18 hours a day on the computer). No big deal.

So, I think the moral of the story here is that if my worst fears come true and an asteroid falls to Earth destroying only the most Southwest corner of Wyoming, I will deserve to spend my life alone because I vacationed without my family. Feel free to tell me you told me so.


Sylwia said...

i don't see the big deal. we vacation seperately all the time and i adore my husband and kids. sometimes i like to go away with some friends and sometimes i want my husband to take the kids on vacation so i can stay home alone. it's actually a nice feeling to have the house all clean and quiet. very relaxing. i've sent my husband away with the kids on a Disney cruise, to Washington dc, and to new york city. it's a regular occurrence in my family. because mother spend so much time taking care of everybody, especially on family vacations, i think it's important for women to have vacations alone or with friends.

Bennet said...

Will is flying out to Wyoming with the kids? Holy cow that sounds expensive. And a pain in the butt. I hate traveling with kids. It doesn't matter if their the most well-behaved children on the planet, it's still hella stressful.
Why didn't your in-laws just fly out to you guys to visit? Unless there's still kids at home and it's cheaper for you guys to go to them.

Geekgirl84 said...

Next year I *need* to be in on this weekend of awesome. It sounds delightful.

Brandi said...

You got the invite this year, right? All I had was the e-mail address you had at ft. Meade and I didn't know if you still used it. YOU MUST COME. There are a few spots still open for this year if by some miracle you could make it.

Marianne said...

Reason #37 why we are different:

The idea of my family leaving me all alone doesn't produce feelings of anxiety. Oh no...quite the opposite.

On a more serious note, Is there a reason why his parents can't just come to your house? Surely, it's easier for two adults to travel than it is for one adult and three children. Not to mention easier on the budget. Have you offered to help them pay for a ticket?

Seriously? Marital problems? Usually it's the in-laws visiting that CAUSE marital problems, not the other way around. Weird.

Brandi said...

When they were just going to be hanging out at home, I was fine. Anxiety never entered my mind. It was when they decided they were going to fly across the country that it set in.

Bennet said...

I just noticed that I wrote "their" instead of "they're" in my comment. I am so ashamed.

Ack! And "there's" should be "there are". What is WRONG with me?!

I'm going to hide under the covers now.

Jared and Lydia said...

(1) I TOTALLY freak out when Jared and the kids travel without me. Jared took the kids for a halfway ski trip less than 2 hours away (I had to work) and I spent the first half-hour after the left FREAKING OUT that they were going to die in a fiery car crash. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one.
(2) Last year, Jared took the kids out of town 3 days before I joined them (again, I had a work conflict) and it was WONDERFUL. I cleaned the first two days (I mean, REALLY cleaned) and then sat around on my big ol' butt eating ice cream the third day. Then I joined them, feeling refreshed and lovely. Oh, how I wish I could come up with a reason for another one of those. My house has never been so clean....

Will said...

Will's Mom hates flying. It's a 20hour drive and Will's Dad works. Will's parents are paying for half the plane tickets, airport parking, and cat boarding.

How stressed out would Brandi be cleaning the house after a week of absence AND visitors?

How expensive are 2 nights at hotels, 114gallons of gas plus tolls, cat boarding for 13days, and 6days of vacation time (just for traveling)?

Cuz that's what we're spending to spend a week with Brandi's family this summer.

Pam the Realtor said...

I am a firm believer in separate vacations. We do it all the time. I do a girls beach trip every summer to San Diego and he always does something fun with our son for a few days too. Not a thing wrong with it and it makes me appreciate him that much more. Good for you! Enjoy!

Ariella said...

I wish my inlaws would come visit. It always seems like they want us to come to them. ..because it's so much easier to haul 6 people across the country than 2. It's so much cheaper, too....and kids LOVE to travel and they don't stress their parents out at all. Ugh. I have many personal issues with this. We always do it though...because they won't. They don't like to fly. Well freakin' heck... I DON'T EITHER!!!! I hate being stuck hours on end with my tired kids in airports. I hate the never ending looks of people calling me a bad mom in their minds just because my boys are bouncing off the walls and I like to yell really loud in public places.

And then we always have to rent the biggest vehicle possible. So much money and sacrifice. But we love we do it anyway. Ugh.

I wish Will luck in the journey. At least they're not toddlers any more.

Can't wait for BGW. One more month!!!!


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